At bible study on Tuesday evening we pray about a variety of things. Lately, we've been talking about more global issues along with local problems and our own personal stuff. Discussion about child trafficking at the pending Superbowl are mixed with the political crisis in Egypt. We intersperse our financial struggles, job situations, and parenting stuff...
When it was time to pray, there was so much... both insurmountable world problems to seemingly insignificant things... Which way do we pray? What do we say? Child trafficking statistics overwhelms me and I think, what's the use... (I'm told it's beyond our sphere of influence.) Yet, in light of the such horrific chaos, is praying about my individual issues that necessary?... While wrestling with these thoughts, we pray.
I wonder if God has a priority for prayers? Are some more important? Do they warrant more attention?
Later that evening I hear the these words whispered to my heart:
“small is BIG. BIG is small.”
“What?” For a brief moment my logical thinking challenges that odd phrase. “No.” I mumble in my brain. I know that two plus two equals four. Big is big. Small is small. That makes sense.
During the night I wrestle with the that odd phrase... struggling with the apparent contradiction... I want ears to hear...
For God small is BIG because He cares about everything that concerns me. He wants me to share with Him my morning plans, afternoon daydreams and evening thoughts. Bring supplications, requests and thanksgiving to Him. He never sees them as too small. They are the place to start conversations with God, who weaves my life into a bigger picture.
As for the BIG things, they are only BIG to me because, well, I'm not God. He creates answers and holds them in His hands! He can make those answers small enough to fit into my hands and equip me to carry them over an earth plagued with pain. How does He do that? How can I do that?
I must carry those in crisis before Him with the heart that feels the suffering as though I were suffering too. It's easy to forget something I don't feel. If I turn away from offensive odors, ugly attitudes or unintelligible speech how can I relate to those whom Jesus refers to as “the least of these?” If I ignore perceptions that don't line up with mine, how will I live the gospel to those who live in darkness? God will share answers for the wounded world with those who are not offended by woundedness.
I think of Elijah who laid his own body across a dead boy. Imagine that for a moment. That child's body probably smelled from the desert heat. He was cold, unresponsive, lifeless. How many today are like that dead boy? Could I literally lay my life over death and believe for the impossible? What did God do? He moved through Elijah's actions by resurrecting the boy, by restoring his life!
Can I truly embrace someone who is poor, an orphan, a widow, a foreigner?
Can I care for one at the cost of self-sacrifice?
If I know God - I can.
I'll bring to Him my small, small concerns, like a child showing a parent a cut on a tiny finger tip, expecting a kiss and comforting words. That intimacy is BIG to my heavenly Dad. From those experiences of closeness, I'll learn to love with the same love He has given me.
Because God mends my heart, I can bind up the brokenhearted who sleep in deserted streets. Because He removes scale of sin off my eyes, I can guide those blinded by lusts and help them truly see. Christ sets me free to carry that liberty those who are captive, releasing them to destinies of His design.
I've given Him my smallness, my two fish and five loaves and He feeds multitudes because He sees small as BIG. He shows me things that break His huge heart, and because of our relationship, He makes it small enough to fit into mine, asking me to be His hands and feet in a sad, dirty world.
My small life is BIG to God who makes the BIG small enough for me to embrace.
