LOVE COLOR!

As an inter-racial family we often hear the phrase "love is color-blind." I tend to not use that statement. I think "love color" is a more appropriate term. Noticing and acknowledging skin differences is not the problem. It's the unreasonable reactions to skin differences that cause ugly conflicts.

I have to notice my children's color for a variety of reasons: providing the right care for healthy skin, hair and nails; recognizing signs of illness, preventing brown-skin susceptible rashes; but mostly, being an example of admiring our diverse appearances.

Our son's beautiful mahogany skin stretches across his slender limbs, glistening in the sun while he shoots baskets. He grins and waves as I cheer him. He's beautiful, (although a 13 year old would totally blanch at being called "beautiful"). When Tavin was little, after his bath we'd douse his naked body with coconut oil; he'd streak through the house all shiny and slippery chocolate. His dad had a hard time catching him. And when he finally did, there was something precious about seeing this small dark body nestled into my husband's strong white arms. It was like a healing. Such violence and atrocities have been committed in the ugly name of racism that I warmed at the sight of tenderness between distinctive skin differences. I like seeing the color.

Our daughter's ebony arms and nimble hands love to paint. One day, Taleah sat on the kitchen floor with her watercolor project scattered around her. Completely disregarding my amateur artistic advice to rinse her brush between changing colors, she painted color over color over color until the page was almost black. "Hmmm..." she noticed aloud. Her shining eyes danced with amusement. Her dimpled cheeks accented a sly smile. "Mom, look. All the colors mixed together make me!"

We've experienced some pretty yucky stuff because of our family's color differences. Like the time Tavin got off the bus at school and was kicked to his knees by a disturbed child who kept yelling, "I hate black people! I hate black people!" Tavin was afraid to tell anyone what happen because he thought if he did, he might get shot like Martin Luther King.

Or the time Taleah was tormented by kids calling her, "Black face! Black face!" She (being an amazingly "out-of-the-box" thinker) simply told them they did not know beauty; then promptly marched into the principal's office to explain that what those kids were calling her was "illegal."

How do we teach our children to value who they are inside and outside? How do we instill a response to love color instead of passing judgments by color? Can we celebrate the variety of hues; gazing at them in wonder and admiration, knowing God's designs are not to be ignored but appreciated? My friend gave me this quote and it hangs on our fridge.

Choose your friends by their character. Choose your socks by their color. Choosing you socks by their character makes no sense at all. Choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable. (by anonymous )

Love is color-blind? I don't think so.
leave off the is blind and just
love color!

Lesson of the Fig Tree

"For every child of God overcomes the world: and the victorious principle which has overcome the world is our faith" 1 John 5:4

I hear God speaking lately. A lot. He's telling me not to give up. To live in faith. Nothing is impossible with Him. Actually, I hear these words whispered in my ear at the darkest times, during the hardest trials - when nothing, absolutely nothing points to victory.

The lesson of the fig tree shows me that Jesus has a plan, and it's not about my comfort, my convenience, nor my timetable.

One morning, the disciples and our Lord were on their way from Bethany to Jerusalem. Jesus saw a fig tree in the distance and being hungry, he went to see if it had figs. Scripture says it was NOT the season for figs; yet, when Jesus saw there was no figs to eat, He cursed the tree. The next day, when the disciples saw the tree withered at it's root, they exclaimed in wonder that the tree had died so quickly. Then, Jesus explained a lesson in faith.

When I read this story I wonder at the tree's lousy ending. Bummer! Jesus wanted figs, even when it was not the season for figs. Interestingly, that word "season" in the original language does not mean the convenience of seasons but the necessity of the task at hand whether the time provides a good, convenient opportunity or not. If Jesus is hungry and needs to eat it doesn't matter if it's "a good time." Fruit must be provided!

How does that apply to us and our faith? Well, don't we all have seasons for when we think things should happen? When it is most comfortable for us? Excuses like... "Let's go on a mission trip when the kids are grown. Let's join a ministry when we are not busy making our lives so pretty. Let's adopt a perfect little baby that looks just like us."

The lesson Jesus wanted us to learn from the fig tree is that when HE is hungry for fruit - nothing can stand in the way! A mountain of excuses can be cast in the sea. Have faith in His plan for you, not your plans for Him. Don't doubt by being divided in your mind - half devoted to Jesus, the other half devoted to worldly things.

HOW?

Pray. Pray for forgiveness and to forgive. DON'T GIVE UP! You will reap what Jesus wants (Gal. 6:9). You'll produce fruit (especially when it's "inconvenient") because the world is hungry for Jesus. And Jesus - is He hungry for family? Check out the Bible and see...

Mumbai Miracle

It's Memorial Box Monday at Linny's blog (aplacecalled simplicity.blogspot.com). This is a great time to remind us of God's faithfulness in the midst of life's trials. As we continue to prepare for overseas missions to serve orphans and widows, I'm remembering how the Lord provided so many years ago...

I was traveling to India - the country Mark Twain called, " the land of wonder." A place of elaborate palaces and extreme poverty, India's individuality seemingly absorbs foreign influence without changing...

Yet, we, three Bible school students and our class adviser, were going to minister for a month in the southern regions. Our invitation to Coimbatore came from an Indian classmate. His family ran a Bible school, orphanage, and church. They asked us to share testimonies, preach the Word, pray with the sick and love on orphaned children. They also asked us to bring some medical supplies donated by a stateside organization. The medical supplies, packed in large duffel bags, arrived by mail about a week before our departure and included some interesting directions...

"This medical gear might not make it through customs in India. You will be charged undetermined fees for bringing them in country, if they let them in at all. Chances are they could be confiscated and sold on the black market. Please do your best to get these bags to the ministry."

The letter also contained a list of the supplies: syringes, antibiotics, blood pressure cuffs, stethoscopes... valuable stuff indeed, especially in the developing areas of India. We wondered how much a "fee" would cost to clear customs... not to mention the responsibility we felt to get the supplies into the right hands! Prayer led us as we continued to prepare ourselves for the work that lay ahead.

Finally, after hours in the air, we landed in Mumbai International Airport. We retrieved our baggage and stood in wonder at all the people in various skin shades, donned in brilliant colors. A faint smell of curry permeated the air. We wandered to the customs counters to find lines winding around like snakes. (the lengthy lines at amusement parks or Walmart on a Saturday don't even compare!) There had to be a hundreds of people waiting in front of us. OOOhhh, we were tired, hungry, thirsty, sitting on duffel bags of medical supplies, praying that God would show us what to do and how to do it!

Suddenly, a nutmeg-colored man with a beaming white tooth smile and turban-covered head approached us.

"Greeee-thingg my frrrends," he bowed slightly and extended his hand which our class advisor grasped and shook vigorously.

"Dis your first tiii-me in mi con-tree?" sounded more like a statement than a question.

Now we all shook our heads, YES, vigorously.

"Please come. Follow me," he gestured to an empty desk near the front of the line.

We looked at each other and shrugged. Okay. Even if we might loose our place in line, we all felt good about following him. He called an inspection officer over to stamp our passports as he lifted the bags over the desk...

We were on the other side of customs with ALL our bags and not a penny spent!
( a HUGE miracle considering the lines, our baggage wasn't inspected, not to mention the threat of "fees.")

Our turbaned friend gave us a friendly wave and another toothy smile. We moved out the doors onto the chaotic streets of Mumbai - streets teaming with ancient culture that seemed to carry us into it's rhythm. We meet our contact and shared our airport experience. He was not surprised, explaining that without the Lord's amazing grace, he would be in a Hindu jail. Evidently, God is changing India for His glory.

And, what about us here in the USA? Are we "absorbed by our culture?" Or, do we pray, step out in faith even when it could cost us (with no promise that it's gonna work out okay) and experience God? It's your choice...

A Tradegy...

The news currently highlighted a tragedy in the adoption world. Many of you have read about the little boy sent back to Russia unaided because the woman who was adopting him could not handle his behavior. We call this a tragedy for many reasons.

First, that a little boy's life is so filled with trauma - from being placed in an orphanage... to being rejected again...imagine being so young and put on an international flight with just a note pinned on you saying your damaged goods...

Second, that the perspective mom didn't know there was help available for her. Resources are numerous to help parent kids with RAD issues. Interventions to assist the child could be accessed. Why did this mom feel there was no way out of her situation...

Third, adoption, once again, has been cast into unfavorable light. Contrary to isolated incidences, adoption can be a beautiful journey.

The are millions of children and families have been brought together through successful, legal and safe adoptive practices. These children have found parents who will love them unconditionally, helping them heal and guide them into their God formed destinies.

To anyone considering adoption, please do not be misled by the unethical practices of a few. There are countless children waiting to become part of a family and many credible agencies who can help make the miracle of adoption begin.

God turns tragedy into triumph. Our prayer is for that little boy to know his Heavenly Father's unfailing faithfulness, that the perspective mom receive counsel to walk in redemption, and that adoption is seen for what it really is - a joining of hands and hearts to form forever families.

Please contact CARE if you need to find resources, trainings or classes that address adoption related issues.

FUNNY FRIDAYS

It's the end of a l-o-n-g week filled with meetings, phone conferences, plenty of praying, kids stuff, husband stuff, and the eternal chores of laundry and dishes...sigh...

I'm in the mood for a cuppa hot tea and a reason to smile...

Tavin's 3 year old smile melted hearts. His long eyelashes that covered soft brown eyes never failed to evoke the envy of every woman who met him. With a gentle disposition that survived through profound woundedness, Tavin was a joy to welcome home. His adoption party hosted over 90 friends and we opened presents all day; a cowboy hat, flashlight and big boy underwear became his new treasured possessions.

Since we had waited years (no exaggeration) to adopt our little guy, extended family who lived in Ohio and New York wanted us to travel from Colorado to introduce our son to his gazillion relatives. We were excited for them to meet Tavin, too. We purchased airline tickets and prepared to travel -packing the cowboy hat and flashlight, showing Tavin photos of grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles and cousins.

After landing in Ohio, the worldwind began... new faces, new places, more new faces and places.

Each evening Tavin would ask, "Can I go home now?"
We'd answer, "Well, not yet, Buddy. You've got some more family to meet."

We drove from Ohio to New York to see my three brothers, five sisters, their spouses and herds of kiddos. Tavin played hard, hugged everyone, and smiled nonstop for snapping cameras; yet, each time we got in the car he would say,

"Let's go home now."

"Almost time to go home," we'd reply as we drove back to Ohio for a little more visiting...

When we boarded the airplane two weeks later, Tavin gladly buckled in and exclaimed to anyone who listened that he was going home. When our connection in Chicago was canceled and we had to overnight in the windy city, Tavin wondered aloud again,

"Are we going home?"
"No, Buddy, not yet." we mumbled, fumbling with the hotel key.

Finally, we boarded an afternoon flight and 8 hours later, we pulled into our driveway and Daddy carried a sleepy Tavin to his bedroom and tucked him in. The next morning, as the sunshine streamed through the windows, Tavin ran down the hall to greet us in the kitchen with a look of amazement and exclaimed,

"Mommy! Mommy! We're home - you found it!

Tavin's twelve now and he's reading this post over my shoulder. He's preparing to go to his first traveling basketball tournament. He gives me a hug and that heart-melting smile,

"Yep, Mom, I still like home best!"

The Diamond Ring!

Although this post is not adoption/orphan related, it is a story about a relationship and how God took it to a new level to bring His destiny into reality - to produce fruitfulness for His kingdom. In spite of my "stuff" the Lord used my words to give me what I didn't know I needed.

Mark wanted to get married. So did I, but not as much as Mark. Maybe I was a little apprehensive about tying the knot since there weren't many marriages I admired. Maybe I was afraid the lurking muscle disease would someday scare Mark away - if I got weaker, would he leave me? What ever the case, I told Mark I'd marry him after he got me a "honking huge diamond ring and proposed on one knee in a very romantic setting." I knew a huge diamond would put the brakes on marrying since we were both fresh out of Bible school and volunteering full time at an inner city ministry in Providence, Rhode Island. The only money we had jingled in our pockets.

Winter in Providence is sssoooo cooolllddd - FREEEEZing to be more precise! Every now and then, Mark and I would spend afternoons at the mall, just to be somewhere warm and walk around talking. He would ALWAYS slow down and pause in front of jewelry store windows....

"Hey, Lisa... look at this ring..."

"Yeah, nice. I need to check out some cards at the Hallmark store. Let's go."

Then, one freezing winter evening...
we were at the mall...
Mark stopped at the jewelry store window...

and there it was...

The Ring.
(not the actual ring, but it looks like it)

I stared at it. Niiiccce! Now, I'm not really into big rocks, gold and all that, but this was a very pretty ring that I knew Mark could NOT afford, so we went into the store to take a closer gander.

The sales woman, who's hair looked like she'd kissed a fan on full speed, came toward us with a booming voice. I was sure the whole mall could hear her ask us what we'd like to see.

"The ring in the display." Mark replied proudly, putting his arm around me.

"OOOOHHHH, HOW EXCITING!" Miss Fan-kisser shivered and was off to retrieve the diamond.

When she returned with the rock poised to fit on my finger, I gulped... and put it on. She told us the price, and then Mark gulped.

"SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELVES!" Miss Fan-kisser beamed, holding my hand to show off the huge diamond to Mark. He smiled, smitten or nervous, I wasn't real sure. I proceeded to tell her my testimony of how God saved me from a life on the streets that was filled with drugs, booze and other rancid stuff; how we met at Bible school, worked with kids, youth, and homeless at a ministry downtown. She hung on every word. She loved the stories about soup kitchen, children's story times, and that we each lived in houses with no heat where addicts slept...

"OOOHHH, YOU'RE REAL CHRISTIANS!" Then she proceed to have all the other salespeople huddle around (apparently she was the manager) and had me tell the testimony again.

After the second rendition, the crowd dispersed, and Miss Fan-kisser stood there staring at us with this silly grin... Now I started getting nervous. Suddenly, and softly this time, she spoke, "I'm gonna give you this ring at a discount cause I like what God's doing in you two."

"What's a discount?" Mark stammered. Her reply made Mark pull out his credit card and slap it on the counter. The beautiful ring this lady was practically giving us clinched the deal for Mark. He could have it paid off interest-free in a few months.

Well, let me tell ya, I got "cold feet" fast and not from the weather! I needed to pray, and pray some more. I asked Mark if we could decide tomorrow. His smile didn't flinch, "Sure." He dropped me off at my place, and I laid my concerns before the Lord... my fears, my trust issues, my independence... and then God spoke...

This ring is a symbol if how much Mark loves you, Lisa. It's beauty shines, reflecting My Light. It's so big, you can't miss it. It has three stones, with the largest in the middle as a reminder that I am in the midst of you both. And this love costs Mark everything; like Jesus' love. It's a love that I have given him.

I felt like the Lord was telling me not to be afraid to take Mark as my husband, like He told Joseph not to be afraid to take Mary as his wife.

We got the ring. (Although when we went back to the store, Miss Fan-kisser was not there; a new salesperson looked at us like we had 10 heads when we told him the price we were quoted. He went into the back office, returned with this dumbfounded look, and sold us the ring for the agreed upon price.)

On a beautiful spring day, along the shores of the Narragansett Bay, Mark sat me on a bench, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He placed the "honking huge diamond ring" on my finger and hugged me into his heart.

It's been almost 20 years of marriage. Mark loves me with a unending passion regardless of my physical limitations which have gotten worse over time. He loves me in spite of my cranky attitudes. His love still "shines in the Light, is so big - it attracts attention, and still costs him everything."

Today, no matter how unknown the future is, no matter what crisis face you, no matter your history of abuse and neglect, KNOW for certain that your heavenly Father is Light, is Big enough to attract your attention, and His Love for you costs Him everything. Expect HIS hug to bring you into HIS heart!

Living in an eternal embrace,
Lisa

FUNNY FRIDAYS

We all know how trying life can be when you venture into the world of adoption; we also know how much FUN is happening all around us if we'd just take time to share it. God has given us His joy to be our strength. This FUN FRIDAY post (which hopefully will happen every Friday) is to make you smile, maybe even "LOL" a bit. I pray it lightens your load and reminds you of how much you your Heavenly Father loves you.

Believing a "merry heart is good medicine,"

Lisa

TALEAH'S "INTERESTING PERSPECTIVE"

Taleah's tender age of 3 didn't stop her from thinking like a debate team leader! Maybe it was a skill she acquired to overcome the hardship she experienced before coming home to us, maybe she's just gonna be a lawyer someday. Whatever the case may be, she usually comes up with the most unique way to view situations.

We adopted our kiddos as toddlers and as soon as they come home we start telling Bible stories - the common ones you share with kids like Adam and Eve, David and Goliath, Jonah and the great fish...

Well, for a while, whenever Taleah needed a little discipline in time out, she'd hide somewhere. We'd eventually find her under the bed or behind a piece of furniture. We'd retrieve her, take her to the time out place and let her stay there for a short while.

As this "hiding" continued we finally asked Taleah, "Why do you hide every time you need a time out?"

She looked at us with big wondering brown eyes and simply said, "That's what Adam and Eve did."

I'm sure you have plenty of funny stories too that we'd all enjoy reading. Take a moment to LAUGH with us!

CARE Family Welcomes Home Their Baby!

A Whopping 3 lbs!
Thank God for this little one who now has a loving family.

Please pray for healthy weight gain and bonding as the family takes their newest member home from weeks in the ICU. We thank God for the miracle of birth and the beautiful way He provides all that is needed to display His amazing grace.

Sean and Dayla's Family

An Exciting Adoption Journey...

We want to thank CARE for their financial gift towards our sons’ adoptions. The money we received was a tremendous help, during a very crucial time during our last two adoptions in 2009.

Three years ago, we adopted Camden from Taiwan. We researched several countries and routes of adoption before we decided on independent, international adoption in Taiwan. We anticipated having a little one from Taiwan and incorporating some Chinese culture in his upbringing. What caught us by surprise was that God stirred another love in our lives, not just for our son, but for his home country.

From the time we landed in back in the States, Fall 2006, our lives were a whirlwind of questions about this new-found love of Taiwan. We started consolidating our physical belongings and changing our business so that we could return, if God were to allow us to do so.

In the Fall of 2007 we found an orphanage in Taiwan that we wanted to work with. Our second son, Quin, was 12 months old when the he was placed with us. We prepared ourselves to move to Taipei as soon as Quin’s U.S. paperwork was complete.

In March 2008, the week that we were to board the plane for Taipei, we received an email with news from a lawyer asking us if we would be interested in adopting a little baby boy that had been born 3 days earlier. Wanting to be united with Quin as quickly as possible, and yet needing to complete paperwork for our little Declan, we waited a few more months in the U.S. before we moved to Taipei.

With the final pieces of U.S. paperwork in hand for both boys, we boarded the plane for Taiwan July 5, 2008. Once arriving in Taipei, with the help of a missionary, we completed Quin’s adoption. During the fall and winter we worked independently with Declan’s lawyer to complete his adoption.

During our time in Taipei, we were able to spend an afternoon with each of our boys’ birth-mothers. We pray that the time that we had with each of them will bring them closer to the saving knowledge of our Savior and healing from the pain of having to make the decision to not raise their little boy.

After three very different experiences of adoption, we arrived back on U.S. soil this last January, 2009. Our hopes and dreams that have stirred us for so many years, are now bundled up into three little bursts of energy that challenge and bless us every day.